If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
