remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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