Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize