When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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