this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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