Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Couch. On fire.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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