I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
