Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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