I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
