There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
