I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
