Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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