So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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