I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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