Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
