nutella sex= disaster
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We are all done wearing pants today
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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