I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
