Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
