You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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