i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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