I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
