i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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