I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
