so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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