mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize