Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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