having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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