just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's shark week go big or go home
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And then he peed in my hair
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