So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
