My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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