just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
