don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hippo gnu deer
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
