a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
