are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
