i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
