I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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