she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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