office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
