Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
