You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
