I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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