Me too!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
