Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
