Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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