it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
