We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
