I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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