So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
