Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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