You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
