I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
