can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
