I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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