If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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