Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
