he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize