sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Less talking, more tequila
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Two words: blizzard sex
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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