girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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