Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
