When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize