so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
