So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
