i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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