Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
